Have you ever experienced a season in life where it seems like God is trying to get your
attention about something? And maybe that looks like you seeing or hearing the same
message over and over again? Everywhere you go, there it is. Everyone you see, is saying
the same thing. Everything you read, all says the same thing. I don’t know if it’s because I am
thinking about this “theme” so much that I see it more or if because I am seeing it more, it is
starting to have more impact on me! Either way, I have been in one of these seasons as of
late.
In my desire to continue to learn how to improve my counseling, I have found a
psychologist who has some very interesting ideas about relational dynamics. As I began to go
through some of their materials, I came across a teaching that really made me stop and think.
They made the statement that the two greatest human needs are connection and meaning.
Connection and meaning? Really? Is that right? As I pondered this notion for a couple of
weeks, I went to church and the pastor began talking about how God had wired us specifically
for two things-belonging and significance! Wow, there it was again. More and more I began
seeing this notion of connection and meaning playing out all around me. In my own life, I
struggle with knowing where I fit in, where am I connected, where do I belong. As well as,
does my life matter? What is my purpose here? Will I make a difference?
Then I read I Thessalonians! And all I could see was the connections between Paul and the
people of Thessalonica. The joy he felt when he thought of them. How much he enjoyed
them. There was an obvious deep sense of connection between them. In chapter 2, Paul
writes things like “having been taken away from you for a short while-in person, not in spirit-
were all the more eager with great desire to see your face.” (v 17) and “for who is our hope or
joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you..” (v 19) and “for you are our glory and joy.” (v 20).
The connection was so deep that not even physical distance could break it. When we can
experience this type of connections, there is something deeply profound that happens to us.
We experience peace! But this is only part of the equation. Paul was secure in his identity.
He could keep his 51% between him and God! Yet there is a sense of great joy, much like a
father feels when their kids are carrying on things that he has taught them. There is the sense
of legacy, significance, and meaning. Paul takes many opportunities to call out the good things
that they have adopted. They were good imitators of the Lord, received the word in much
tribulation, and became examples to all the believers. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or
mentor, there is just something unique that happens when the other person “gets” it. It’s the
meaning part, I have just made and impact on this person’s life. There is no other feeling quite
like it.
Unfortunately, with these innate needs, there are opportunities for twisting them. When we
search for meaning without the connections, we can easily fall in to the trap of self-
centeredness. I want to have significance and meaning, but may think I have to do it all on my
own. Narcissism is the pit of trying to have significance without connections. We can also try
to have connections without meaning. When we have no sense of purpose, vision, or identity,
we will look to others to meet that need. Losing our sense of self, we cannot maintain healthy
emotional investments. Codependency is the ditch of connections without meaning.
God has created us in His image. His image is that of connection and meaning. We are
not meant to be lone rangers! We were created for community and in that community we can
also experience significance and meaning. Lord, help us to learn how to live that out!